I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: never, I repeat, never leave the house on a Saturday. If it doesn’t involve cocktails, I can guarantee it’s not worth the trip. Everything takes five times longer than usual and everything/everyone/everywhere is ten times more annoying than usual. There are far better ways to spend a Saturday; baking cakes, for example. Once you’ve licked the bowl and that delicious baking aroma beings to spread, have a good old polish, make the place nice’n'cosy, get your socks warming on the radiator, get the coffee a’brewing, and before you know it you’ll be nestled on the sofa eating home-baked treats, drinking coffee (go mad – pull the Tia Maria out!), toes all cosy, watching The Railway Children. Much better than facing the general public on a Saturday. But, can I just add (in case you do decide to follow my cake-baking-on-a-Saturday advice), here’s some more: make sure the exercise is semi-altruistic….in other words, don’t eat all the cakes yourself. Knock on your neighbours’ doors and share the wealth! Cakes make the world go round, after all.

I talk a good cake-baking game, don’t I? But I am, indeed, all talk. Of course I haven’t baked any cakes today (for that would’ve involved going to the shop to get the ingredients – no, I’m not the kinda gal who has flour and cake tins and all those other cake-baking sort of things casually lurking in her cupboards). Nor have I managed to polish anything, get the place cosy, or treat myself to some warmed up socks (I don’t have any radiators). The most I’ve managed is a quick hoover, an instant coffee, a slice of toast (or four) and a Coronation Street omnibus. Oh, what a wholesome life I lead! Let’s hope the rest of evening holds more cosy hope…