I’m so far under the weather it’s untrue. Apparently, I’m still in need of that thousand-year-sleep I mentioned the other day. Not gonna happen though, is it? I’ll just have to make do with the mandatory carton of orange juice and a bumper box of tissues. Oh, and the Sunday paper to keep me company, thank-you-please.

My favourite thing in Style (you know, Sunday Times supplement, also known as my most highly anticipated weekly fix and/or bible) is undoubtedly the going up and going down column on the first page (yes, I do spend all week speculating about what will be going up and down). There are five things in each category every week and they are always so absolutely on the money that it never fails to raise a snigger. But this week, this week! They’ve touched a nerve. Want to know what’s going down in Style this week? The Glasto line-up. Shock-shock, horror-horror, shock-shock, horror! “Muse? Headlining? What happened to Kylie and Fleetwood Mac?”, they say. Now, you can leave Kylie out of it (Kylie, seriously?) but I know precisely what they mean about Fleetwood Mac.

Watching Muse headlining Glastonbury is not something that can be done under any guise of irony (and I certainly couldn’t adopt any guise of interest, either, so I suppose I should just steer clear of this field); Fleetwood Mac, on the other hand, could easily be what Glastonbury is all about. You know the deal: aged-British-American-wannabe-soft-rock-band bashing out a greatest hits set (I’m not sure how many great hits they have, but I’m sure they’ll let us know) on the Pyramid Stage as the sun goes down in Somerset; you thought you could only name 3 songs but you actually end up knowing loads; they weren’t on your to-see list, but you happen to be standing nearby (probably trying to get your hands on a pint of cider and a bowl of noodles) when they appear and there’s nothing else you want to see for an about an hour so you might as well stay put; you actually end up having quite a laugh, a mess-about, while watching Fleetwood Mac, don’t you? Singing along to a looping rendition of “I wanna be with you everywhere” or “thunder only happens when it’s raining” with your mates (yes, okay, the pint of cider helps) actually become some of your most memorable Glastonbury moments. Although the moments might be fleeting (pah! pardon the pun), it is moments like this that Glastonbury is made of (remember Eddy Grant’s ‘I Don’t Wanna Dance‘ in 2008? That was a moment. So was Crowded House in the same year. Both unexpected, that is the key!). All I know is that Muse couldn’t provide me with anywhere near this sense of delicate nostalgia and togetherness and would certainly not give me any unexpected moments; so, in this respect, Style are right to put it in the damning ‘going down’ column. And, having just you-tubed ‘Dreams’, I have decided that I want the Mac at Glastonbury, on account of that one potential moment.

However, I might not be, unlike Style, quite bold enough to claim that the Glastonbury line-up as a whole is going-down (the news that Muse are headlining can go wherever it wants, though, they’re quite right about that). But as for the line-up itself, well, we don’t even know what it is yet! I wish everyone would stop being so cynical. I, for one, have still got the faith. The speculation and cynicism is always going to surround the Glastonbury line-up though, just because they announce it so late and yet we’re all so desperate to find out. But like I say, I’ve got the faith and can only be accused of speculating a tiny-little-bit (Dolly’s been in the UK quite alot recently, no?).

I hope you’ll forgive me for my Glastonbury rant. They do happen every now and again and there’s nothing I can do about them. I quite enjoyed today’s one though, if only for the fact that it took my mind off the fact that I feel absolutely rotten. Sniffle! I hope you all feel significantly better than I do and that you are looking forward to tonights Brit Awards. A bit of Florence and Lily and Gaga and Peter Kay. Ha! Treat yourselves.