don’t believe a word that i haven’t heard

So. I’m embarking on a couple of days off. Would be nice if my feet weren’t in TATTERS. I have wounds on the back of my heels induced by some simple new Topshop pumps (unbearable even with plasters/socks etc). I also have a Russell and Bromley induced blister on my little toe and tan-leather stains all over. (Not to mention the sore nail and the fake tan disaster areas – yeah, you didn’t want to know about those bits). So basically I want to stay at home with my bare feet in a breeze, please. I’m pretty sure breaking-in shoes isn’t meant to be this traumatic? I bet it doesn’t happen to elegant people. No but seriously, once my feet have been scrubbed/bandaged and are battle-ready, I’m hoping to actually venture out of the house. I want to go for some food, see Harry Potter, sit on some grass and browse some shops. Here’s hoping my feet will actually take me there.